In
recounting the life and times of kings like Rehoboam (1 Kings 14:21, 31),
Jehoshaphat (1 Kings 22:42) and Ahaziah (2 Kings 8:26), both books of Kings are
somewhat replete with the statement “His mother’s name was…” as though to
suggest that who their mothers were, lent credence in some way to all that was
recorded concerning their reign as kings. If all children and siblings of
Constance Shola Martins were to attempt to write individual autobiographies, it
is more than likely that her name or better yet, her moniker – Mom Bukky, would
be found in almost every one of those tomes. She was not just a mother in every
sense of the word, she was a Godly Mother and gleaning from her life, one could
easily draft a model for who a Godly Mother is.
Godly
mothers are selfless. Always ready to make necessary sacrifices for their
children. In the case of Mom Bukky, if we needed something like a shoe, bag,
phone etc urgently and didn’t mind having a used one, all we needed to do was
ask and it would be given. (If we wanted a new one and didn’t mind waiting, we
would ask Dad Bukky). When we were in school miles away from home, Mom Bukky
made the distance between our school and home look like a stone’s throw because
of how often and easily she would visit with Daddy. Such visits gave a quick
reminder of what home food tasted like. Sometimes, our class mates were the
ones to come announce the “good news” of their arrival for a visit because they
knew the giver in her never packed food for just her children. She wasn’t just all
out for her children, her heart was large enough to accommodate all and sundry;
she was a resourceful and sacrificial woman of the people to say the least and
her sphere of influence cut across all ethnic groups. She helped people she
didn’t know from Adam and sometimes, our house could easily have passed for a
traveller's lodge.
She
wasn’t just a giver but a tither as well. She tithed consistently and taught us
tithing amongst a host of other values and godly principles like honour,
respect, obedience etc. She would insist we do the right things even if it
wasn’t popular opinion. There were those times when we felt we could frolic and
eventually went out of line, she would readily correct and bring us back in
line. We can say from experience that she had a very clear understanding of
Proverbs 12:24 & 23:13-14. For purposes of clarity, those passages read:
12
He who spares his rod hates his son,
But
he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Proverbs
12:24
13
Do not withhold correction from a child,
For
if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
14
You shall beat him with a rod,
And
deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs
23:13-14
She
was prompt to apply the Scriptures above; no time! “Wait until your father
comes…” were words you would NEVER hear from Mom Bukky when it comes to
discipline and the ministry of “laying of hands”. To our little minds, the
approached seemed draconian at the time but the rectitude of her motives made
us to never doubt her love for us.
Godly
mothers are Godly Wives. Mom Bukky was very submissive and supportive to Dad
Bukky; his ministry, the call of God upon his life, his vision and leadership.
She taught us to love, respect and honour Daddy. She always made celebrating
Daddy's birthday a big deal. She made us see Daddy as an angel with no fault.
She showered him with respect and honour that was palpable and instructive.
She
went beyond the confines of her own home to teaching other women to be godly
wives and mothers also. She was a home mender to the core. We saw her reprove a
woman that dishonoured her husband, took her back to her marital home and
ensured she apologized to him. She also taught the men in her life; our uncles
in particular, to love their wives. She would see to it that they took care of
their wives and pampered them with gifts especially during family holidays.
It
is said that a house rests on a foundation but a home rest on the woman. Godly
mothers ensure the home is a place of warmth and love; a place you always want
to return to. One of the ways Mom Bukky did this was to ensure there was always
food at home. Even the security guards would always benefit from our kitchen.
She would often ensure there was surplus in case we had visitors. When they did
come, they ate their fill because she was sure to say, “it is a taboo to have
remnants in this house”.
Godly
mothers ensure the family is united. Mom Bukky wasn’t the firstborn but she
assumed that role, bearing responsibility for all her siblings and parents. She
was the rallying point for all members of her family. Like a true
"Proverbs 31 woman", her hands were never idle as she would do many
forms of legitimate trade to bring in extra income for the family. She was very
industrious and being a gifted seamstress, her unique designs were variegated
and innovative. She believed you could make a device achieve what you desired
it to. She was fond of saying “whatever cannot speak, should not be smarter
than you”.
Godly
mothers use their gifts to impart others. Mom Bukky was not just a gifted
songwriter, she was a passionate singer. Her sonorous voice was naturally
amplified yet in no way calliopean. When Daddy’s ministry started, she joined
him to teach over 90% of the members the doctrine and songs. She led and
instilled discipline in the choir as the Choir Mistress for years. Her
administrative skills and teaching abilities weren’t confined to the church
space alone; she excelled as a great teacher cum administrator in the secular
world and even rose to the post of Head Mistress.
Godly
Mothers model love and inspire greatness. Mom Bukky loved people for who they
were whilst encouraging them to be better. She was also a visionary leader and
futuristic in her thinking. The way she prepared for an event, one would have
thought that she went to the future, saw how the event played out, noticed the
things that went wrong and then returned to ensure things happen just right.
She would often say, “my spirit doesn’t deceive me” after something she
envisaged was adequately prepared for before it occurred. Nothing seemed to
catch her unawares; Mom Bukky would even travel with a pressing iron…to London!
And at a point, there was always a torchlight in her bag.
Speaking
about her bag, especially her “church bag”, there were fewer things easier than
her telling you to go get something like a blue pen from that bag. You could go
back and forth like Gehazi to Elisha saying “there is nothing” until she says
“bring the bag” and right before your eyes, she would bring out the pen you
never found. We still don’t know why she never had her own magic show. By the
way, checking her bag was easy; checking her room? That’s a story for another
day!
It
is said that “any attempt to renovate truth, defaces it”. Mom Bukky didn’t know
how to be economical with the truth when it needed to be heard. She was quick
to apologize but would not take nonsense; regardless of its source.
As
it is written about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:28;
28 Her
children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her:
We
call her blessed today and like the kings of the book of Kings, we’re honoured
that it can be written concerning us, “…and their mother’s name is Constance…”
Compiled by 'Bayor for Covenant Colours
