CHAPTER EIGHT | REBUILDING BROKEN MARRIAGES
When two individuals cleave, they become one and since you cannot separate a man from himself, a married couple should not be separated.
Divorce and separation in marriages, is destructive.
The causes of broken marriages
Shaky Foundation
One of the major causes of broken homes is shaky or broken foundation and the Bible makes us understand that if the foundation is destroyed there is nothing the righteous can do. (Psalm 11:3)
Whatever you build on a foundation that is not solid cannot last; it is bound to collapse. Every marriage must have a solid foundation that stands true. And that foundation is God.
God is the surest foundation for any marriage.
When you stay united in purpose with God, your marriage cannot be broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
Strife
Strife exalts self, leaving God and others completely out of the picture. Strife is rooted in lack of understanding. Couples should take time to know each other well so that they don't misunderstand any steps taken by their spouse. Should misunderstanding arise, open up the line of communication and get it sorted out immediately.
Suspicion
I believe this is a spirit. Some people keep suspecting any move taken by their spouse because there is no trust. This spirit should be cast out of any home where it is found. The easiest way to kill suspicion is to believe all things. The Bible says, love believeth all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7).
When you notice that suspicion is taking over, or any other crack in your relationship, deal with it quickly before it is too late.
Emotional response to issues
The way to avoid this is to become mature in understanding by giving a second and third thought to every issue before responding. (Proverbs 25:28)
Control yourself! Control your emotions. Do not allow yourself to be provoked to anger. Anger lies in bosom of fools. Control your tongue! Words spoken in anger cause untold damages in homes. (Proverbs 15:18)
The In-Law Factor
Your home should not be governed according to the dictates of your in-laws. Your goal must be to please God. When God is pleased every other person will be pleased.
The interference of in-laws can be cheaply handled with wisdom, especially when there is a good relationship between husband and wife.
Neglect
Neglect gives room to the devil and the Bible wants us against that. Your personal relationship with one another is very important. Remember that your spouse is a gift from God, and he adds no sorrow to his gifts.
Do not neglect each other. Neglect is a deadly spirit that slowly paralyzes the initiative of your spouse towards your well-being. (1 Timothy 4:14)
The cares of this world
The pursuit of the pleasurable things of this world, The unquenchable thirst for riches, power, and position bring untold sorrows to homes. (Mark 4:19)
It's might be good for food, it might be good to put on your body, it might be pleasant to the eyes, and it might enhance your position, but is it good for your destiny? (Genesis 3:6)
The cares of this world lead to destruction, while, giving attention to the Word exalts.
Steps To Rebuilding A Broken Marriage
Step 1 - Decision
The reason some couples who are separated or divorced remain in that condition for so long is because their hearts are hardened, against one another and against the Word of God. (Psalm 95:7-9)
Remember that every occasion for a new beginning is an opportunity for success.
Step 2 - Bury the past
Let's the past pass.
Mike Murdock said "Don't let mistakes become a memorials. They should be cremated not embalmed."
Step 3 - Disregard intimidation
Be deaf to mockers! Cry unto your God and He will hear you. (Nehemiah 4:1-3)
Step 4 - Obedience
Being good is like building your house on a solid foundation, it will stand firm even in the midst of the storms. Anytime you disobey, your foundation is shaking. Stop sacrificing! Start obeying! Obedience is better than sacrifice.
Wine represents celebration if you want the wine in your marriage to be restored, obey the Word of God. (John 2:5)
Step 5 - Appreciate and embrace each other for a new beginning
Begin to appreciate your spouse all over again.
When two people embrace, there is no gap between them and so nothing can come in to separate them. An embrace bridges the gap between two people and brings them close to one another.
Source: Codes For Blissful Marriage (Chapter 8)
Copyright © 2007 by Mary A. Abioye
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