CHAPTER SEVEN | HER SUBMISSION
Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It's not something we make someone else do.
Just as we can't force another person to love us, we can't force someone to submit to us either.
Submission is a choice we make. It's something each one of us must decide to do. And this decision happens first in the heart.
Problems often arise in this area because a wife is afraid to submit to her husband for two reasons:
• Reason #1. Her husband thinks submission is only a noun, and he uses it as a weapon.
• Reason #2. Her husband has himself not made the choice in his heart to be fully submitted to God.
Submission is a matter of trusting in God more than trusting in man. But a wife will more easily make the choice to submit to her husband if she knows that he has made the choice to submit to the Lord.
Many a wife has a hard time trusting that her husband is hearing from God if he doesn't appear to be submitted to God in the way he treats her.
While God gives the husband a position of leadership in relationship to his wife, He also requires the price of self-sacrifice from him.
A wife has a hard time giving her husband the reins to her life if she doesn't believe she can trust him to have her best interests at heart as he steers the course of their lives together.
A woman will do anything for a man who loves her like Christ loves the church.
Too often people confuse "submit" with "obey." But they are not the same thing. The Bible give commands about obeying other people only in regard to children and slaves, and in the context of the local church. (Ephesians 6:1,5).
Since a wife is neither her husband's child nor his servant, and the local church isn't part of a marriage, the word "obey" has no application to the relationship between a husband and a wife.
Submission means "to submit yourself." In light of that, when a husband demands submission from his wife, it is no longer true submission.
When a husband is more interested in his wife's submission to him than he is in his own submission to God, then submission becomes a tool to hurt and destroy.
When we submit to God, He doesn't suppress who we are. He frees us to become who we're made to be, within the boundaries of His protection.
When a wife submits to her husband, she comes under his covering and protection, and this frees her to become all God created her to be. And trust me, you want that for your wife. Her greatest gifts will prove to be your greatest blessing.
If you feel that your wife is not submissive, pray for her to have a submissive heart, first toward God and then toward you. Then ask God to help you love her the way He does. I guarantee that you will see her submission level rise in direct proportion to the unselfish love you exhibit for her. And let her see that you are seeking God for guidance. If she knows that you are asking God to show you the way, she will follow you anywhere.
Please pray for your wife that:
1. She will understand what submission really is.
2. She will be able to submit in the way God wants her to.
3. You will be completely submitted to God.
4. She will trust God as He works in you.
5. You will take your position as spiritual leader.
6. She will trust you to be the head of the family.
7. Submission will not be a point of contention in your marriage.
POWER TOOLS
Ephesians 5:22-27
Matthew 10:39
Romans 12:16
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