CHAPTER ELEVEN | HER SEXUALITY
There's a reason that sexuality doesn't rank as high on a woman's list as it does on a man's, and I believe it's because sexuality is a very complex issue for a woman.
Your wife's sexuality is wrapped up in two things:
1. How she feels about herself
2. How she feels about you
The way a woman feels about herself has a lot to do with how she has been treated by men throughout her life.
If a woman doesn't feel attractive or sexy, it's difficult for her to act like she is.
However, a man can reassure his wife of how attractive she is to him and how much he loves her, and feeling attractive and loved makes a woman want to share herself with her husband in the most intimate ways.
The way your wife feels about you, will immensely affect her desire for intimacy.
For a woman, sex comes out of affection. She has no desire to be affectionate with a man who makes her feel hurt and neglected.
A woman's true sexuality is wrapped up in how loved and valued she feels, and it's very difficult for her to give herself to someone who has made her feel bad.
Trust is also a huge factor in a successful sexual relationship. Your wife must be able to trust you. She can tolerate mistakes in other areas if she knows you are truthful.
A woman never fully gives her body, mind, and emotions to a man she doesn't trust.
A woman can get sidetracked by many things and end up neglecting the sexual relationship with her husband. That's why it's important to pray about it.
Sex needs to be a priority in a marriage. Far too often a wife does not understand how great her husband's need for sex actually is. That's why it's good for you to pray that your wife will gain a clear understanding of this and give you the physical intimacy you need. And you don't have to feel like you're being selfish in doing that. You're not. You are watching over and spiritually covering a vital part of your marriage that, if neglected, could lead to your marriage's destruction. You can't leave this highly important aspect of your relationship up to chance.
Women want to be able to share affection with their husband without always having it lead to the sex act. Your wife wants a sense of togetherness—a hug, a kiss, a simple touch, an embrace — that doesn't always lead to physical intimacy. Sometimes she needs emotional connection, affirmation, and closeness without having to perform.
There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who is strong in the Lord. It makes him irresistible.
If you want to be more attractive to your wife, grow deeper in the Lord. Let God mold your heart, and He will also enhance your appearance as you are transformed into His likeness.
Please pray for your wife that:
1. Your sexual relationship will be fulfilling for both of you.
2. You will be unselfish with one another.
3. Romance will stay alive in your marriage.
4. There will be great affection and desire between you.
5. She will be understanding of your needs.
6. She will not be too exhausted to be intimate.
7. You will be able to please one another sexually.
POWER TOOLS
1 Corinthians 7:4,5
1 Corinthians 7:2,3
Hebrews 13:4
1 Corinthians 6:1 8
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
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